The battle within
By Shihan Mauro
This is an insight on my thoughts and feelings about training and the mental struggle with injury that I fought to overcome.
About two years ago whilst working at Crown Casino as a croupier my shoulder could no longer take the repetitive movements of dealing and seized up. Since that time I've had to put up with the long and painful rehabilitation to give myself every chance at working my way back to my full ability, which I feel is still a long way off.
It had not only been the physical side of the battle that I'd gone through with many strengthening exercises at the gym, but the constant negative thoughts that would run through my head which became the hardest battle of all.
In the beginning I felt very down and depressed and didn't quite know if I would ever feel 100% again, and as time went on I felt more alone with something that only I could work on to resurrect.
I found myself wanting to throw everything in as nothing I tried was working, and I really began to feel the agony and disappointment of not training which was taking its toll on me.
I pushed on but every time I thought I could give training a go, I'd find myself taking one step forward with three steps back. This is where the frustration set in and the belief to train on was fading.
Deep down I knew I couldn't give in, as I had never been a quitter so I started working on what I could do rather than what I couldn't. I found that I had to change my thought process to a more positive one, so I adopted the mentality that I had been knocked down and had to get up.
I started by surrounding myself with positive people to whom I received endless support and reassurance. This became a vital stepping-stone towards my recuperation. I used training not as a learning ground for knowledge, but more like a rehabilitation centre where I'd work my body gradually to its limits.
I would not participate in sparring but would work cautiously through the drills. As time passed I began to train harder until I felt I had achieved my goal of returning to my former self.
I must stress that my injury did not occur at training, and if not for Freestyle I wouldn't have learnt this type of mentality and therefore been able to put it into practice.
For this I must give out a special thanks to Kyoshi Shihan Mick.
I am still currently working on all of these things combined but feel that I have made major progress with myself, my training and life.